Outriding the Black Cloud

Rough day yesterday. Certain people decided I am the source of all their problems, and became irretrievably illogical and mean about it -- then, as the day wore on, called four other people in my agency (including my boss and the director) to complain to them about it. That set off a numbing chain of protocol I'm still dealing with today. And that's just a taste of what my week had been like so far.

So, I snuck out the door a few minutes early and bolted for home through a torrential downpour. By the grace of God, it was sunny and dry near my house. Broke the land speed record changing into my kit, threw a couple extra pounds of air into the tires, and mounted up and rode outta there like John Wayne after the bad guys.

I try to compensate for my non-living-wage salary, overlong car commute, and the non-profit version of corporate helplessness and anonymity, by focusing on the good that I can help people do for themselves, and the sense of mutual appreciation I have with my co-workers. When those turn into accusations and power struggles, where can I turn? Last night, it was the bike. Iit did the job -- mostly.

Long 10-minute intervals over singletrack and the roads by the river with the Vaya had me fully inhabiting my body and letting the flywheel of my mind disconnect and spin freely in the background. I wasn't in a great mood when I got back, but I'd felt strong for an hour, strong and capable. That beats a glass of any bourbon you care to name.

Today, it's back to the salt mine -- but the muscle-memory of capability is in my cells. It's helping, a little bit.